Day 1: I want to remember

I've known for quite some time now that my long term memory just isnt' right. No, I've not had anything diagnosed (psychologically or phsyiologically) professionally, but I live the reality of this daily. I just don't have memories.

I find it hard to remember much of anything beyond 5-10 years ago. My childhood memories are few and far between. While this is a problem and I really dislike this fact about myself, I can't really do anything to change (at least nothing I'm aware of) it. I can, however, be proactive in tracking memories.

In fact, when I first became a mom, I decided to keep track of the day to day things we did as mama and baby. I know these seem mundane to people, but I always look back on the olden days with the fondest of memories--at least, what memories I have. Since turning form colleg girl to mama, I have kept a daily and monthly journal for each girl. I quit taking daily notes when they turn one, however, I continue to write about once a month in each girls' journal.

In the daily notes I comment on their first everything. First snow. First time their toes touched the grass. First tooth. First smile. First doc's appointment. You get the picture. I also note other small things about our daily routine.

In the monthly journal, I try to describe their personality, their likes and dislikes, who their friends are, and any great accomplishments or milestones. I also try to pass along any wisdom I feel is important. This might range from what kind of people to hang out with to how to put on make up. Of course, having four kids makes this quite the task.

And yes, I actually keep a pregnancy journal too, so I'm currently writing in five journals. Luckily though, the pregnancy journal has prompts so I don't have to think too much yet!

Anyway, I've decided that I want to jot down one memory per child, per day. I'm going to try to do this everyday for one month. I'm hoping the end result will be me continuing with this journal of sorts. Also, I figure the girls will have a permanent record in addition to the paper variety (I'm terrified of a fire or tornado destroying the pages I've put hours upon hours pouring my thoughts and heart into, so this will be a back up)!

So here goes the first entry--

Peach:

When you came home yesterday from school, you told me that you were the only kid in class who didn't make a donation to the "stocking" (the stocking is going to needy families). I felt horrible as you told me with all sadness how different that made you feel. I can remember feeling like the only one and so when you asked me to write a note to your teacher explaining why we didn't donate--well, I obliged. I told her and you we donate to different charities and can't afford to donate to every single one, so we choose some each year. You approved of my note and I sent you to school this morning with it in your book bag. When I went to pick you up today, Mrs. L said that there were actually only 4 (of 12) kids in class who donated. That it was no big deal. That you didn't mention anything in class about the devastation you felt upon being the only one. She wrote me a nice response back, and we both were reminded that you can be quite the drama queen (when you want to be). But I wouldn't change you :)

Brownie:

When I was tucking you in tonight, I laid my head on your belly and closed my eyes. You told me I could sleep there. You are too cute! Oh, and of course your favorite part of the day was "daddy toming home."

Bug:

Most importantly, lately you have answered that your favorite part of the day is me. HA! You happily colored your Christmas bag (number 2) in the dining room this afternoon. You were seated by our bay window with only the late day's sun and a small lit Christmas tree for light. This calmed you down when you found out that your older two sisters snuck off with Grammy to Target while you were sleeping.

Boushka:

After days of not having "Miytey" (Mickey) on the computer, I turned it on for you today. You immediately started dancing crazily to "Get up offa that tail." You open your eyes wide, open your mouth, and shake your head while moving your hips. You are such a site to see and it always makes me smile! You also started asking to have letters drawn on your back (like sissies) and for "bantet" (blanket) and sleepy times. So sweet!

Baby girl in my belly:

You are groovin' around much better than you did last week (when I was this close to going to the doctor just to hear a heartbeat). Since this weekend, I have also started alternating between left hip pain and center-lower back pain. Yes, this comes about after I've been on my feet for a few hours. But I know you're worth it!!!