Baby Update

Well, we had our second appointment yesterday at 15 weeks. I must admit I've been a bit of a nervous Nellie the past few weeks. I had a feeling that something just wasn't right with the baby and I couldn't wait to hear the heartbeat for the first time. Yes, I did see the heartbeat on a sono at 9wks, but a lot of things can go wrong in six weeks-- as my husband says "that's why they call it a miracle." I digress... anyway,

While we were waiting in the exam room for the doctor to come in I saw the Doppler (the thing you hear the heartbeat with) sitting all by its lonesome on the counter. I was really tempted to use it on myself because I so desperately needed to hear that thump going 140 beats per minute. Figuring my husband would think I've gone complete bonkers or that he might tattle on me, I used my better judgement and decided not to "test" the equipment.

Not soon enough the doctor came in and began the regular chat. "How are you feeling? You're 15 weeks now?"

"Yeah, I feel fine." LIE LIE LIE, I feel scared every second that something has stopped working inside me. But again, I don't want to look uber crazy. I've already had "bad feelings" two times.

"Okay, well let's hear that heartbeat."

I lie down on the table and the doctor begins her work.

Lots of gushing noises and a faint heartbeat that is obviously my own.

More searching.

More searching.

I begin to sweat with anxiety and complete fear of my worst nightmare coming true.

My face is turning red-- I can feel it. I try to hide the tears, but I must not have been doing a good job- my two older sweeties come to my side and grab my hand. *HEART MELTING*

15 minutes, or maybe seconds, pass by and the doctor knew I needed to stop fearing the unknown. "Okay, let's head back to the sono room. I'll go warm up the machine, you guys wait here."

UGH, more waiting. Again time is passing slowly and I'm going crazy thinking of all the possibilities that lie ahead.

I bend down to hug my two babes who can walk, and they offer their worried little faces.

God I feel like a fool. Here I am worrying about what might or might not be and now I've got my little girls worried right along with me. I fight back the tears and suddenly find peace with my thoughts. I realize that even if there is bad news, I have three beautiful gifts from God right here, healthy, happy, and very much alive. I just felt peace-- though it was brief as the doctor soon opened the door to walk us back to the sono room.

I was so scared to lie on the table. I feared seeing a fetus the same size it was 6 weeks ago. I was afraid of seeing no little heart beating away. I sat back and covered my eyes-- I couldn't look right away.

After a few seconds of the doctor scanning, I hadn't heard anything bad coming form anybody's mouth so I dared to look. At first I could see nothing. Then a little head and body came up on the screen. It looked a bit bigger. It was moving. I saw the heart- and it wasn't still- it was beating. I felt immense relief immediately. I cried a sigh and thanked God.

Here is evidence of a growing miracle- and proof that my motherly intuition isn't always right.
That little white blob inside the black whole is my 9wk miracle.
The upside down head followed by a string of pearls (spine) is what I got to see yesterday. That mass (the placenta) in front of the baby is what was blocking the thumping heart beat from being heard.