Celebrating Dads- a Bit Early

In the new Parents magazine I came across an article, "The New Face of Fatherhood." It focuses on the slowly-changing role of dads in the 21st century. Dads today are cutting their working hours or quitting altogether to stay home or to at least help raise a family. Today's dad is quite different from his predecessors and he wears the spit-up badge of honor proudly on his sleeve.

If we look into the homes of today's family, more and more often we're seeing women and men working, or women working and men staying home to raise children. As the article points out, "lots of today's young dads are the sons of working mothers and grew up with more flexible views about gender roles." So naturally, they are expected to help with home and family.

Dads used to be the one who brought home the bacon, raised his hand to discipline, and was responsible for decision making. The way he is depicted almost makes him seem like a third wheel to the mother/child couple. And this isn't something from the 1950's; just 30 years ago dads were spending an average of 2.6 hours per week with their children. I'm still trying to figure out what they were doing with the other 125.4 non-work hours of the week.

Although the numbers aren't high enough to say it's common, more and more new dads are taking active roles in their children's lives and staying home with them. Others are choosing to work and still spend their time playing tag or giving a bath and not working extra hours or fishing. Now spending an average of 6.5 hours a week (still low if you ask me and my hubby), children today rely on their dads and moms equally. Now he is not just a financial supporter on the sidelines; today's dad is just as proud to actively participate in child-rearing as his wife.

Diapers, burping, feeding, laundry, grocery shopping, dishes, cooking, and doctor's appointments, are all typical motherly duties-- especially 30 years ago. Yet dads with young children today are stepping up and helping, or even taking over these roles. And I can assure you that my husband has fulfilled every one of those duties a number of times in the past 2.5 years.

It all began when we made the decision to go to all of my ob checkups together. I never thought of it being any other way- it never even crossed my mind. Yes, this child was growing inside me, but she was our child. Her well-being should be a concern to both of her parents. According to the article, this is how "today's" dad starts off on his active-role path.

He continues by cuddling his new baby, cooking when his wife is too tired, getting up with a sick child, coming home early just to take the kids to the park, and even sharing in the joy of snot, poop, spit-up and urine stained clothes.

To me, this is what a father is- someone who shares in the ups, downs, and everyday life of loving and raising a family. Whether he is married, divorced, widowed, or single- dads can be as active as they want to be. And I'm thankful everyday for my 21st century, chore-sharing, bath-giving, snot-wiping, grocery-shopping, loving husband.