Hunk is 8 Months Old!

 Would you just look at this little hunk in pinstripes? He makes my heart sing. All of my children do, but he is the last and everything seems to be a little more sentimental because of that.
Can you tell this guy loves his daddy. I love looking at him while he' s admiring something.

 For the most part, he's still a pretty cheery boy. Nothing makes him more happy than playing with somebody!

Yes, his sisters are quite entertaining. And they all still love to play with him. They're so lucky to have each other!

 When he's not sitting around being cute or playing with sisters, he is usually asleep at some ball game, in the carrier, on daddy.

 This is a classic position for this boy. Sleep hug, anyone?

 Sometimes he actually stays awake while at the ball fields--this was at Brownie's soccer practice. He sees the baby in the mirror on my phone. He loves that baby!

 Oh yeah, he's mastered the art of face making! He sticks out his tongue all the time. And sometimes he chews on it!

 He's experiementing with food more. He has gnawed on some apples, and he enjoys puffs. And we learned the hard way that he cannot have eggs. After scrambled eggs one morning (only a little bit and they were very cooked), this happened--

 Blotchy rash.

 Hives.

 Tongue sticking out... lol!

And thanks to a mama on my baby FB group who makes organic lotions, I have help treating whatever skin issue this is on his leg. But honestly since he hasn't had his formula in a month or so, his skin problems have completely healed. He was on a regular formula and had these problems, so I switched him to soy a few months ago (he gets mostly breast milk, but formula is a back up). Well, once we quit it all together his skin was clear. Crazy, huh?

 By the way, this was the before and after the lotion-- just three hours between the pictures.

And speaking of what he drinks, he slowed down his eating about three weeks ago. I normally was only able to pump one bottle ahead. So I'd pump something at 11 am and he'd eat it at his next feeding. Well, I don't know what happened, but he slowed down so much I sometimes I had 6 or seven bottles in our fridge. I got worried, but he really wasn't dropping pounds. He did get sick during this time with an ear infection and a respiratory infection, so that helps to explain it.

I know that normally, babies might slow down their eating around this age because they get some calories from solids, but not this boy. He has only had a few containers of solids. And just recently, he decided he was too big for mom to feed him with a spoon. So, now we just cut up some of our food and let him try it. He has had chicken, some bread, green pepper, a little bit of orange--and I think that's it. And the above picture proves that he can indeed hold his bottle, but he usually opts for whoever is holding him to hold his bottle. He's rotten (in a very good way)!

And here he is with a fry. I think he liked it. Little stinker!

 This boy adores a couple of baby apps on daddy's phone. He really focuses and concentrates on this rattle one. The little shapes move around and make noises, and this just fascinates him! The other app that he loves is some weird one that has a floating flower and plays a Jewish gangster song.

 And I'm going to lie here and say he's a total mama's boy. He does love me lots (it's totally mutual), but if daddy walks in the room I cease to exist. I'm still making peace with this (mostly just by hogging the baby away from daddy--insert evil laugh)! In reality, I'm very blessed to have a husband who loves his kiddos as he does. It's a good thing!


So, these pictures that follow were taken when he was about 7.5 months old. These little overalls were brand new from Grammy, and I just needed to get his pics taken in them one afternoon. Which turned out to be handy because when he turned 8 months he was sick. So I didn't get the best shots of him that day.

 

But these turned out adorable. 

One little story I don't want to forget about this day...

While he was sitting on our bench, it was kind of hard to get his attention. But every time a car drove by, this boy would immediately turn his head toward the car and watch it until he could no longer see it. He did this EVERY. SINGLE. TIME a car passed by. 

 

 Big boy standing up.

 

 

  And once we moved to the grass, I couldn't hold his attention for the life of me... no, I take that back. I couldn't GET his attention for the life of me.This is the only shot of about 100 where he is looking in my general direction.

Grass is fascinating if you've never really noticed it before.

 

 It doesn't need to be handled with care.

 He's embracing his inner Kansas Boy by chewing on cud.

Oh, sorry buddy. I will never compare you to a cow again... PROMISE!

The pictures I took on his actual 8 month birthday--please ignore any nose crusties you may see.

 He's a happy boy--even when he's not feeling his best!

 Smiley guy!

Again, thanks for ignoring the snot crust.

So to sum up this boy...
He weighs 19 pounds. We switched to size four diapers. He's wearing some 9 months and more 12 month clothes. He's eating like a big boy. He can't do eggs (at least for now). Everything still goes directly to his mouth. Cars are cool. So is grass. So is daddy, sisters, sometimes mama, and always daddy's phone. The end.

I love you sweet boy!

Boushka Turns 4 Years Old!

What a beauty!

My precious girl turned four years old recently--okay, it's been a month, but I'm going to give her a proper birthday post now!

Here she is on her special day, heading to school for her birthday celebration.


I simply cannot believe that my fourth baby is four years old. I don't know how time flew so fast. I just don't believe how incredibly smart and loving my little doll is these days. She surprises me all the time with things she says, what she knows, or just how truly kind her heart is.

This is my little bean who has been so lovey her whole life. She nursed the longest of any of my children. I put an end to it, but I'm sure she would've continued well beyond those 13 months. Since then, we've discovered she kisses in her sleep. How absolutely adorable is that?! I've heard of many people doing random things in their sleep--but kissing is a new one. I think it's just a sign of how genuine a lover she is.

Boushka completed her first year of preschool this year. She adored her teachers--I actually think it was mutual! She also made a bunch of friends--many of which came to her birthday party. Much to my surprise, she's very quiet at school. She didn't like to sing or dance with the class (I'm not too worried--Peach was like this in her 3yr old class and now we can't get her to stop showing off and talking). Which is funny because at home she is talking literally non-stop. The girl doesn't have a quiet moment. She talks, and talks, and talks! Sometimes, we actually have to ask her to stop for a minute and take a breath. I love that she's always thinking. She's very analytical.

And while she's obviously analytical, she's also very silly. I like to think she got the best of her mom and her dad. Daddy is more of a thinker than a silly-heart. And while I can be analytical, I tend to think with my heart--and I'm often accused of being silly. Boushka is equal parts of both--what a perfect blend. She makes the funniest faces--she does this often enough that her entire family mimics them and we all laugh. She can be creative too, but a silly, "thinker" is a better description.

Now that she's four, we can start activities like dance and soccer. She has her heart set on one or the other every week--it changes all the time. Oh, and gymnastics is often requested as well. We'll have to wait and see what she ends up choosing--whatever it is, I can't wait to see her try.

When school starts again, she will be a peer mentor at a new preschool. I'm so excited for this new adventure for her. I really think it'll help bring out some of her leaderships skills--Lord knows she has them. Now we can put them to use.

She may be a little girl stuck somewhere in the middle of all these siblings, but she certainly stands out. She has some of the longest lashes I've ever seen, but that's not the only thing about her that stands out. She's a cuddler by nature, and I like to nurture that in her. She can also argue anything to its death.

The reason I note this is because when she was only hours old, she still didn't have a middle name. When I finished my post-birth catnap, I asked Matt to hand her to me so I could get a good look at her. During labor I had Matt write down all the names we considered for her middle name. Then I told him that once she was born, we'd get a good look at her and pick one. Well, I looked at my 10 hour old baby and saw her name printed in big letters for a law firm. I know this sounds really weird, but I promise you this. From the list of names, I picked Layne because it fit with her first name nicely, and it's the name that sounded lawyer-ish. Turns out, this kid was born to be a lawyer. We honestly joke about this odd fact all the time. But I love who she is and that she'll stand up for her opinion no matter what. She's a little fighter with spunk for sure.

Boushka- Thank you for choosing me to be your mama. It is a responsibility I don't take lightly. It has been an absolute pleasure watching you grow from a tiny 7 pound baby with crazy dark hair, to a lovely little girl who talks as much as she cuddles (who also now has very long, blonde hair). You certainly make life interesting and you keep me on my toes--in a good way. I feel like as long as I have you around, my mind will stay young. Thank you for being such a sweet sister to all of you siblings. And most of all--thanks for my midnight kisses. You're a treasure!

Love, Mama

And just like we do for all the kids in this family, we had a special birthday celebration when she woke up on her birthday. She got her goodie bag and balloons of course. I also took her picture out on the driveway. That night she invited Grandma and Auntie over for her speical dinner--mac 'n cheese with broccoli and daddy's chicken strips. And of course we all had some left over cake. She also got to open her presents that night. We loved celebrating our newest four year old. What a big girl!

Present time...

We love games at our house--Minnie Bingo seemed like the perfect gift

She knows what this is! Can you see the excitement on her face?

The doll carrier case she picked out all by herself

New Minnie shirt

New Minnie Mouse shoes

Checking out homemade gifts from sisters.

Peach made her a Minnie and Mickey Mouse doll out of paper!

Mother's Day 2013

Tonight, I had the privilege of rocking Hunk to sleep. This very sweet boy was completely exhausted since he didn't get much of a nap for two days. We've been on the go all weekend long, and his naps have consisted of 20 minute snoozes in the car seat or the carrier walking around with daddy. Anyway, as the day's activities were winding down and his sisters were off to bathe and get ready for bed, I could tell my little guy needed to hit the hay soon.

When he is tired, he starts to move around. He jerks his body back and forth, chews on toys, and and starts to get kind of silly. Then he'll progress to just being really silly by making faces, laughing uncontrollably, and sometimes he rocks back and forth. It's actually really adorable and he pulls me in with his little show, but then I remember this is "tired Keian" and we should get upstairs for the night.

So this little show of his happened tonight. We had a family picnic for dinner. Matt and I were on the couch and Hunk was between us doing Phase 1 of his show--chewing on toys and jerking his body. Then he and I moved to the floor and he entered the silly phase (2) while sitting next to Grammy. After a few minutes of just enjoying his awesome energy, it dawned on me that he was tired. It was kind of late after all.

So we said our goodbyes to Grammy, and we went upstairs where I got my boy ready for bed. Then Phase 3 began to set it. He was incredibly fidgety-- fighting me with his powerful kicks as I was trying to snap up his stripped pjs.  I talked to him softly and caressed his head a few times in between dressing him and kissing his forehead. That didn't really help any; he just wasn't having any of it and began to cry.

Soon I was finished dressing him, and I scooped him up and cradled him in the bend of my arm. He looked at me--desperate for sleep. As we made our way into the comfy rocking chair in his room, I grabbed his bottle and we settled in just like any other night when I get the opportunity to rock him--it happens often enough that you could say this is routine.

I stick the bottle in his mouth, and his tired eyes open wide. The room is only lit by the glow of the dusk coming in through the curtains, and this makes his eyes appear even more in focus. They're all I can see. So we stare at each other for quite some time. It's quiet--very much unlike the other 99% of my day that is filled with little voices, machines running, thoughts about meals and lists running through my head. I am peaceful despite the noise that comes with a houseful of kids ending their night.It's not like most other nights when I worry about the distractions that await outside of his nursery. For some reason, be it divine intervention or just a coincidence, all I can think about is what's right in front of me--a sleepy boy drinking his bottle.

My son's body has calmed down. His jerky movements have stopped, and for the most part his body feels relaxed. I notice how content he seems, and it's then that I start to turn to my own thoughts. Thoughts about the day--Mother's Day--and how truly blessed I am to be a mother. I feel overwhelmed with joy when I think of my children, and holding a sleepy baby only intensifies that joy. The stresses along with the excitement of the day are fading into my now tranquil mind. I'm at ease. He's at ease.

Five minutes of me staring at his big, wide open eyes have passed, and now his eyes are closing. His sucking ceases and he spits the bottle out of his mouth. I set it down on the adjacent table and spend the next several minutes just watching his face.

His eyes are gently closed, his muscles are relaxed, and his sweet lips are the slightest hint of pouty. Yes, that's perfection in my book--nothing beats a baby resting so contently in your arms. I can't help but keep my eyes glued to him, and as I do I just keep smiling and crying. I cry the kind of tears that I've only ever cried as a mom. They're tears that come from a wellspring of overwhelming love that consumes me entirely. They are certainly tears of joy, and sorrow, and frustration, and excitement, and fear, and complete love that streak down my cheeks and fall from my chin. And I just let them run.

It's in this moment of cleansing that I'm able to think again--in this quiet setting. The noises outside the nursery have quieted, and dusk is turning into night outside the house. I start telling myself to savor this moment in time and to take mental pictures. I even frame his face by making an"L" shape with my pointer finger and thumb. His chin fits perfectly in the groove between my finger and thumb, and I hold my hand against his face like this for several seconds--just staring at his beauty. I can't stop looking.

Most nights, I will rock him a few minutes after he falls asleep just so I can soak up some extra love before I make my rounds with my other babies. But tonight, I just couldn't leave him. The thought entered my head several times, but my body just never got up out of that chair. I thought about my other children missing me at tuck in time, and for that reason I should lay him down, but I still didn't. And then I realized something. I realized something that made me sad when I thought about it. I realized that this is the last Mother's Day that I will rock my baby to sleep.

This time next year, I will be rocking a sweet toddler boy (if I'm lucky enough to still get to rock him). His legs will hang off mine as he's stretched out across my body in that chair. He won't be the same little baby who just needs a snuggle and a bottle before he simply closes his eyes for the night. For all I know, he will be too antsy to rock. Or maybe he'll be fighting me at bed time because he doesn't want to go to sleep. Or even if he does want me to rock him, he'll probably be too uncomfortable in that tiny chair to let his body relax enough for sleep. Yes, this is the end of an era.

This makes me sad.

With the first five children I had, I can honestly say I was never sure we were 100% done. So the thought of going through something for the last time never really came to me. And even though Keian has been here almost 8 months, I still haven't really let it sink in that we are going through "last times" all the time. We will never again have a newborn baby to bring home from the hospital. We will never again watch our new baby learn to smile and interact, roll over, or say his first word. Those moments in time are now part of our family history--we have watched all of those events for the last time. And now I can add one more bittersweet moment to that list of last times--rocking a baby on Mother's Day. And even though I don't feel ready grow beyond rocking babies, I have to remember that life constantly changes, and part of life is learning to accept changes and move forward by making the best of your time here on earth.

If you would've asked me eight years ago if I was ready to be a mom, I promise you my answer would've been no. No. NO! It seemed like a monumental responsibility, and rightly so, but time continued and I did in fact become a mother. Back then, I thought I wasn't prepared well enough to start the journey of mothering. Looking back, I can see that all I really needed to be prepared to start that new chapter was love. It was as simple an answer as that--if I loved her, I could take care of her in every way she needed.

And now as I begin to close chapters in my mothering journey, I'm going to have to remember that no matter how unprepared I feel to say goodbye to the days of mothering babies, I have to do it. I have to close this chapter as time marches on. And I'll have to remember that, again, all I need is love. If I have love, that makes accepting the necessary (though sometimes unwanted) changes just a little bit easier.

For me, to be a mom is to know true, unadulterated, unconditional, sacrificial, undying love. I can say with complete honesty that I feel my true calling in life is to be a mother. I know I've said it a million times and therefore it can lose its effect, but I feel so blessed to be not only a mother, but my children's mother. Each and every one of them is my fragile and vulnerable heart. Each one of them is my reason for giving my all when I want to quit. And I hope and pray that someday, each one of them gets to experience this unique love. That is the best gift anyone could ever hope for.

~~Happy Mother's Day~~
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